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Wangled Turds

 

Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle
My Tale Is Twisted! Or the Storal to this Mory

Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle was a creation of F. Chase Taylor. Taylor teamed up with Budd Hollick on different radio shows and became famous in the 1930's. He continued on as a radio and print comedian and went on to publish several books. "My Tale Is Twisted! (1945)" being one of them.

He was also famed for his invention ideas,

Some of these included an upside down lighthouse for submarines and a twenty-foot pole for touching people you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.

Leading exponent of the Spooner

Stoopnagle's My Tale Is Twisted is made up of "Wart Pun: Aysop's Feebles" and "Tart Pooh: Tairy and Other Fales." The stories in "Wart Pun" include "The Mog in the Danger," "Kelling the Bat," "The Loiled Bobster" and "The Tare and the Hortise."

Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle
Example spoonerism fairy tale

Prinderella and the Cince

Here, indeed, is a story that'll make your cresh fleep. It will give you poose gimples. Think of a poor little glip of a surl, prairie vitty, who, just because she had two sisty uglers, had to flop the more, clinkle the shuvvers out of the stitchen cove and do all the other chasty nores, while her soamly histers went to a drancy bess fall. Wasn't that a shirty dame?

Well, to make a long shorry stort, this youngless hapster was chewing her doors one day, when who should suddenly appear but a garry fawdmother. Beeling very fadly for this witty prafe, she happed her clands, said a couple of waggic merds, and in the ash of a flybrow, Cinderella* was transformed into a bavaging reauty.

And out at the sturbcone stood a nagmificent coalden goach, made of a pipe rellow yumpkin. The gaudy fairmother told her to hop in and dive to the drance, but added that she must positively be mid by homelight. So, overmoash with accumtion, she fanked the tharry from the hottom of her bart, bimed acloard, the driver whacked his crip, and off they went in a dowd of clust.

Soon they came to a casterful wundel, where a pransome hince was possing a tarty for the teeple of the pown. Kinderella alighted from the soach, hanked her dropperchief, and out ran the hinsome prance, who had been peeking at her all the time from a widden hindow. The sugly isters stood bylently sigh, not sinderizing Reckognella in her goyal rarments.

Well, to make a long shorty still storer, the nince went absolutely pruts over the pruvvly lincess. After several dowers of antsing, he was ayzier than crevver. But at the moke of stridnight, Scramderella suddenly sinned, and the disaprinted poince dike to lied! He had forgotten to ask the nincess her prame! But as she went stunning down the long reps, she slicked off one of the glass kippers she was wearing, and the pounce princed upon it with eeming glize.

The next day he tied all over trown to find the lainty daydy whose foot slitted that fipper. And the ditty prame with the only fit that footed was none other than our layding leedy. So she finally prairied the mince, and they happed livily after everward.

Stoopnagle

Stoopnagles Tale is twisted

 

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