Funny Quick Jokes
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle.
Jessica Beil
Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doctor says: "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
Tony Blair
"Doctor I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds to me Like Tom Jones syndrome".
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
Barack Obama
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
David Beckham
A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places".
The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"
Victoria Beckham
How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
About two - if they're thinly sliced!
Diana
What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A Clever Dick
Jonathan Ross
What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!
Russel Brand
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