Animal Jokes
Mad Cows
Two cows were talking in the field.
One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?"
The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?"
Submitted by Ernie
Cat in Heaven
A cat dies and goes up to heaven. God meets him there and says, "Well how are things?" To which the cat says, "Terrible, I have never had a place to sleep and got hit with a broom every day". God says, "Well you've come to the right place, we will keep you very comfortable up here!" So the cat goes into heaven.
A few days later some mice die and go to heaven. God meets them there and asks how they are. They say, "Horrible. We have been on our feet forever running away from cats". God says, "Well you have come to the right place, you won't have to run anymore". The mice are relieved. They ask God for a favor. They ask him if they can ride around on rollerskates so they won't be tired. Of course, God agrees.
A week later God is walking around heaven and sees the cat. Asks how he is. The cat says, "Great, and those meals on wheels you've been sending me are delicious!"
Submitted by Kat Awol
Does your dog bite?
A man walks into a shop. He's greeted by a dog and turns to the shopkeeper and says "Does your dog bite?". The shopkeeper replies "No". So he leans down to pet the dog and the dog visciously savages the mans arm and won't let go. In panic the man screams and then shouts to the shopkeeper "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite" and the shopkeeper replies.
That's not my dog.
Submitted by Inspector Clueso
Dog dancing
Why are dogs such bad dancers?
They have two left feet.
Submitted by Collin Der
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