Adult Jokes
My girlfriend..
My girlfriend called me a pervert.
I said to her "that's a big word for a nine year old!
Submitted by Sgt Bilko
Relationships
I have a great relationship with my mother.
She's like a sister to me, only without as much sex!
Submitted by Terry Cotta
Sex Object
My girlfriend is a sex object to me.
I ask for sex and she objects.
Submitted by Tim Panny
Sperm Count
A 75-year old man went to his doctor`s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."
The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor`s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, doc, it`s like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with Her right hand, but nothing. Then Her left, but nothing. She even tried with Her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing.
Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and Her mouth too, but nothing."
The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOUR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn`t get the damn jar open!"
Submitted by Ida Down
Wheelbarrow Position
A husband confesses to his wife that he'd like to try a new sexual position.
"It's called the wheelbarrow" he says. "You place your hands on the floor and I hold your knees up around my waist and off we go."
"OK" she says "but you have to promise me you won't go past my mothers house".
Submitted by Nolan Swutts
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